I’m what the bro-nerds call a “hardgainer.” I know that there’s basically no such thing, as much of your body composition seems to be a result of engrained habits and eating choices. I’m naturally lean.
With that said, I’ve been hitting some plateaus in my lifts (big 3 – squat, deadlift, bench + a few others) and I wanted to keep increasing them. Since I’m doing everything right and lifting consistently, many people I’ve talked to said I simply need to add more calories, since calories = more strengths. Mind you, I’m not lifting to compete or anything, but I want to keep increasing the amount of weight I can lift.
So in order to increase calories without compromising on food quality, I started looking at some options:
- Eat more of everything until I explode
- GOMAD (Gallon of milk a day)
- Eat faster
- Increase caloric density (proteins)
Eating more of everything wouldn’t work for me because I am too lazy to eat, and it takes too long, and I don’t like to buy food, and I can’t eat much of the easily-available stuff because I stick to my Anti-Monsanto diet which is supposed to be good for maintaining or gaining lean mass.My natural eating habits basically follow the Intermittent Fasting program, and I usually eat just once or twice a day. Maybe that retarded Soylent Green powder guy is right about food taking a long time to deal with, but I want to stay healthy and not have to eat bullshit all day. Plus I like me a home-cooked meal.
GOMAD sounded like a good idea until I remembered that I hate drinking cow milk, so I didn’t bother. I tried looking for goat milk and raw milk but none were convenient nor cheap to access for the number of calories.
Eating faster at meals got the job done in terms of my appetite. I had always known that if you put away a large amount of food quickly, you would be able to beat your stomach’s signal to your brain “I’M FULL, STOP FILLING ME MOTHERFUCKER.” I’m the kind of person who would forget to eat all day until the hunger and the aroma of foods became too strong. I have a strong aversion to feeling full and lethargic.
My other means of increasing the number of calories in my diet was to increase caloric density, particularly in proteins. I have a protein powder which I am too lazy to mix and drink, and I don’t feel like paying a shitload of money for those ready-made protein shakes. That dude at Chaos and Pain said it’s okay to eat carbz before/after liftz [NSFW images] and that it was actually advantageous to do so, so I was open to increasing carbohydrates after a weight session.
So I thought of a simple way to meet my eating preferences, spending preferences and caloric needs.
Strength and lean mass = more calories, more proteins, more carbs
So I looked around for something in the dairy aisle that gave me more carbs and more protein.
Guess what bitches? The theoretical solution to my woes is Greek yogurt. I don’t mean the cheap shit, or the “low fat” bullshit, I mean the stuff that offers the most calories in a quart-size mini bucket. Nothing “Greek style” because that means they just added corn starch to thicken it, I mean actual Greek-strained Greek yogurt. It has to be Greek because this style yields much more protein than your typical Yoplait/anti-constipation brand.
So here’s why I chose actual Greek yogurt:
- 1 lb/quart or so of Greek yogurt is not too filling, perfect for eating in a single sitting in under 20 minutes
- That same amount will contain anywhere from around 20-48 grams of carbs (depending on whether you get plain or flavored or with fruit like those pregnant moms like)
- 24-30 g of protein
- 900-1200 calories, mainly from fat
- It tastes good
- It often costs just around $5
It doesn’t matter to me which brand as long as it doesn’t have retarded unnecessary ingredients, also making sure to stay away from plain sugar and corn syrup. It should just contain whatever sweeteners it has if it’s not plain (fruit, honey, etc), whatever cultures are used to ferment it. It should have a high amount of protein and fat, and it should have an exceptional number of calories.
I’ve added fruits to my yogurt and it’s okay, but I don’t care for it, and it makes it much slower to eat because you have to chew the solids if you don’t want to choke to death on single-mom yogurt. I just get a strawberry-flavored one with or without fruits, and it meets both my calorie requirements and my carb requirements. I also only eat these on the day of my liftz because I don’t want to become a fat fuck.
So there you have it. In theory, I should improve in my liftz and get more swoled. I’ll report back on this later as to whether or not Greek yogurt is worthwhile for lean mass and strength gains.